Integrity

The reason I am writing this is to share my experience about a situation that could have turned really bad. I am a 44 year old man who has been HIV+ since 1996 and in all that time I have been really diligent about telling my sexual parters about my status. About a month ago I met a beautiful guy on Grindr, a hook up site. We started talking and flirting at first it was very harmless, talking about getting together for coffee. Now I was on this site for one thing and that was to hook up and have sex. This guy made it very clear that he only wanted to get together for coffee and I agreed, I thought it might be nice to meet someone and just chat to see where it went. We met for coffee and it was very clear from the very beginning that this was going to be more then just coffee, so I pursued this course. In our conversations we talked about barebacking. We talked about a lot of things and the conversation kept going towards us getting together and him fucking me, I told him that I love getting fucked bareback and he said he liked that too and how nice it would be to fuck me and cum inside me. So after coffee I walked him back to his car and we decided that I would come over and we would PLAY. From the moment I stepped in the door the air was sexually charged. We went up to his room and started kissing, before we knew it we were naked and he was inside me, he fucked me for some time, now I never even thought to tell him I was HIV + because of all the flirting and talk about him wanting to Bareback me and he loved to bareback, I assumed he was positive. I have never met a guy before in all my hook ups that was negative that did not disclose this when chatting about barebacking. I also before this point would have disclosed my status, I am not sure why it never came about. Now this guy is the first guy in all those hookups that I did not talk about it. I always made a point in the past of telling the guy my status because I would NEVER want to give this to anyone. Any way we finished up and it was amazing. As I stepped out of the shower we chatted about what transpired and I mentioned taking meds and asked what regiment he was on, surprised he said Im not on meds and I asked why he was not on meds and when did he become positive? There was a long pause and he said Im NOT positive, a sinking feeling came over me and I said that I was. So without a beat I told him we need to go to the clinikc and he needed too get on an exposure treatment. well we did and after all of that he tested negative for the virus, and with great relief I vowed never to let that happen again, and to this day I have made good on that ........Whew! 

Quotes from Voltaire

Voltaire

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker.

Not a day goes by without our using the word optimism, coined by Voltaire against Leibniz, who had demonstrated (in spite of the Ecclesiastes and with the approval of the Church) that we live in the best of possible worlds. Voltaire, very reasonably, denied that exorbitant opinion... Leibniz could have replied that a world which has given us Voltaire has some right to be considered the best.

Jorge Luis Borges, Obra completa, Vol. IV, p. 523

Definitions & Dimensions of Wellness

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Physical Wellness

The physical dimension of wellness encourages cardiovascular flexibility and strength and also encourages regular, physical activity. Physical development encourages knowledge about food and nutrition and discourages the use of tobacco, drugs and excessive alcohol consumption. Physical Wellness encourages consumption and activities which contribute to high level wellness, including medical self-care and appropriate use of the medical system.

  

As you travel the physical wellness path, you'll strive to spend more time each week building endurance, flexibility and physical strength. Sometimes the path may become narrow and treacherous-you'll become more aware of the hazards around you and you'll begin to take safety precautions so you may travel your path successfully. The physical dimension of wellness entails taking responsibility and care for minor illnesses and also knowing when professional medical attention is needed.

 

By traveling the wellness path, physically, you'll be able to monitor your own vital signs and understand your body's warning signs. You'll understand and appreciate the relationship between sound nutrition and how your body performs. The physical dimension of wellness provides almost immediate beneficial results-both physical and psychological. The physical benefits of looking good and feeling terrific most often lead to the psychological benefits of enhanced self-esteem, self control determination and a sense of direction.

• As you travel the wellness path, you'll begin to believe that - physically.  
• It's better to consume foods and beverages that enhance good health rather than those which impair it.
• It's better to be physically fit than out of shape. 

Steps For Improving Physical Wellness / Physical Fitness

 

Physical wellness is the ability to apply your knowledge, motivation, commitment, behavior, self management, attitude, and skills toward achieving your personal fitness and health goals. A wise person once said, "Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness." Physical wellness can be maintained by applying the knowledge and skills of sound nutrition, exercise, and safety to everyday life.

• Exercise three time a week, 20-30 minutes per session
• Use the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator, and walk whenever possible
• Get consistent and adequate sleep
• Use seat belts and helmets, and encourage others to do so
• Learn to recognize early signs of illness
• Listen to your body
• Practice safe sex
• Eat breakfast - it's the most important meal of the day
• Eat a variety of healthy foods
• Stop smoking and protect yourself against second-hand smoke
• Control your meal portions and try to eat smaller, more frequent meals throughout the day
• Use sugar, salt, fat, and alcohol in moderation

 

Physical Wellness Assessment

 

The physical dimension of wellness involves encouraging regular activities that produce endurance, flexibility and strength. Read each statement carefully and respond honestly by using the following scoring:

Almost always = 2 points Sometimes/occasionally = 1 point Very seldom = 0 points

_____ 1. I exercise aerobically (vigorous, continuous) for 20 to 30 minutes at least three times per
              week.
_____ 2. I eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grains every day.

_____ 3. I avoid tobacco products.

_____ 4. I wear a seat belt while riding in and driving a car.

_____ 5. I deliberately minimize my intake of cholesterol, dietary fats, and oils.

_____ 6. I avoid drinking alcoholic beverages or I consume no more than one drink per day.

_____ 7. I get an adequate amount of sleep.

_____ 8. I have adequate coping mechanisms for dealing with stress.

_____ 9. I maintain a regular schedule of immunizations, physicals, dental checkups and self-exams.

_____ 10. I maintain a reasonable weight, avoiding extremes of overweight and underweight.

_______ Total for Physical Wellness Dimension

 

Score: 15 to 20 Points - Excellent strength in this dimension.

Score: 9 to 14 Points - There is room for improvement. Look again at the items in which you scored 1 or 0. What changes can you make to improve your score?

Score: 0 to 8 Points - This dimension needs a lot of work. Look again at this dimension and challenge yourself to begin making small steps toward growth here. Remember: The goal is balanced wellness.

 

 

Related articles

• Balancing the Wheel of Wellness (collectingyourself.wordpress.com)

 All of this information in this blogg comes from the website----http://www.definitionofwellness.com

SMART Goals

SMART Goals

By Duncan Haughey, PMP

Once you have planned your project, turn your attention to developing several goals that will enable you to be successful. Goals should be SMART - specific, measurable, agreed upon, realistic and time-based.

A goal might be to hold a weekly project meeting with the key members of your team or to organize and run a continuous test program throughout the project.

The acronym SMART has a number of slightly different variations, which can be used to provide a more comprehensive definition for goal setting:

S - specific, significant, stretching

M - measurable, meaningful, motivational

A - agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented

R - realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented

T - time-based, timely, tangible, trackable

This provides a broader definition that will help you to be successful in both your business and personal life.

When you next run a project take a moment to consider whether your goals are SMART goals.

To quote renowned American philanthropist Elbert Hubbard:

"Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage, but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal."

What it means to be a friend

As the older I get my definition of a friend changes and my needs from that definition is an ever revolving and changing thing. When I was young I needed a play buddy, someone I could meet in a secret place to visit far off lands, the only boundaries that we had were the ones our minds created, which is still true today. But today the rules and the game itself has evolved. I have been in many relationships through the years, some more successful then the others but relationships none the less. As my rules have changed through the years, the type of people that are associated with these relationships also changed. So, today a friend to me means someone you can trust, someone I can rely on, someone that will ask me for help when in need. I guess maybe I should tell you about a few of my friends I have now. Friend #1 I will call Brent, He lives about 2 1/2 half hours away but we talk on the phone on a regular basis and have been friends for about 15 years, in those 15 years we have gone through a significant amount of life together and can call upon those events with laughter or sorry, either way we can relate to each other, he trusts me as I do him. He can call me anytime day or night and if he really needed me I would be there and he would be there too for me. That is what a friend is to me.

Growing Older and staying in shape

Image by wallyg via Flickr

I live in San Diego California and to me it is a paradise, but I am having one little problem....I am getting older. I turned 43 this year and I like the age thing but the one thing that I hate is that it is getting harder and harder to stay  in shape. As I get older little tire around my waist has become a little bigger and the flat stomach that I used to hold on to, like some kind of trophy, has turned into a small pooch. Now because I really never acquired a work out ethic I can't seem to get enough gumption to do sit ups to get rid of it. I get up in the morning, get ready for work, drive to work, work all day and then when I get home all I want to do is eat, watch TV and go to bed. I am getting to the point that this lifestyle is not enough, I need more, I need to be inspired.

Well I just got my inspiration there was a fantastic Sculpturor called Polykleitos and he like many other artists of his time created some of the worlds famous pieces like "Diadoumenos". An amazing example of the men of the time, and I want to look like this, I remember in my twenties I was tall and really skinny, I saw a picture of myself today of me back then and I looked really unhealthy but young and defined. I did have abbs and a 30 inch waste but wow was I skinny.

Things are different these days, I feel really great about where I am at, I finally feel like I am growing into the body that I have always wanted. I am going to take some pics of me now and I will post them later. I am not like the sculpture in this blog and gosh I wish I were really like that beautiful man but I am getting there. I finally feel like I am almost in the body that God intended me to have, it has been a real challenge, I have to go to the gym 6 times a week and really watch what I eat but it is paying off, i really need to do more sit up though, But now that I am older and I am not going to have an easy time of it I finally gave up on trying to look young but I can have an amazing body. I totally got that it is me that is responsible for my body and my life, the harder I work on it the better I look and the more I feel right. So fo all you out there that are siting on your sofa wondering why you are puttin gon those extra pounds, GET UP...GO TO THE GYM...GO FOR A WALK....Do something healthy tomorrow and feel better about yourself.  IT DOES'NT GET ANY EASIER.

A Wonderful Day

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I spent all day with my friend James, his friend Randy and my Partner Russ hanging out, shopping and going to the  Museum of Man her in San Diego.  And now we are sitting here watching Moma Meya, andother great movie, before thaty I was watching Julie & Julia. I really enjoyed both.