Integrity

The reason I am writing this is to share my experience about a situation that could have turned really bad. I am a 44 year old man who has been HIV+ since 1996 and in all that time I have been really diligent about telling my sexual parters about my status. About a month ago I met a beautiful guy on Grindr, a hook up site. We started talking and flirting at first it was very harmless, talking about getting together for coffee. Now I was on this site for one thing and that was to hook up and have sex. This guy made it very clear that he only wanted to get together for coffee and I agreed, I thought it might be nice to meet someone and just chat to see where it went. We met for coffee and it was very clear from the very beginning that this was going to be more then just coffee, so I pursued this course. In our conversations we talked about barebacking. We talked about a lot of things and the conversation kept going towards us getting together and him fucking me, I told him that I love getting fucked bareback and he said he liked that too and how nice it would be to fuck me and cum inside me. So after coffee I walked him back to his car and we decided that I would come over and we would PLAY. From the moment I stepped in the door the air was sexually charged. We went up to his room and started kissing, before we knew it we were naked and he was inside me, he fucked me for some time, now I never even thought to tell him I was HIV + because of all the flirting and talk about him wanting to Bareback me and he loved to bareback, I assumed he was positive. I have never met a guy before in all my hook ups that was negative that did not disclose this when chatting about barebacking. I also before this point would have disclosed my status, I am not sure why it never came about. Now this guy is the first guy in all those hookups that I did not talk about it. I always made a point in the past of telling the guy my status because I would NEVER want to give this to anyone. Any way we finished up and it was amazing. As I stepped out of the shower we chatted about what transpired and I mentioned taking meds and asked what regiment he was on, surprised he said Im not on meds and I asked why he was not on meds and when did he become positive? There was a long pause and he said Im NOT positive, a sinking feeling came over me and I said that I was. So without a beat I told him we need to go to the clinikc and he needed too get on an exposure treatment. well we did and after all of that he tested negative for the virus, and with great relief I vowed never to let that happen again, and to this day I have made good on that ........Whew!