major decisions that I have to make. Ones that ultimately can result in either my Success or Failure.I am faced with the thought of once again not being good enough for a job, or not being able to complete tasks given to me, I feel like a friggin idiot and stupid. I have been struggling with my job for some time now and it has come to a point that I cannot do my job and there is no place for me to grow. The people in my company are amazing and h
ave helped me through a lot of struggles. I guess my question is: When is enough, enough? I was on the phone with my sister and we prayed to God that he would give me the strength to walk through this, now I totally have been through much worse and much harder things, but in the past I could always walk through it numb,
I would use drugs or sex to help me through the rough times and I would not have to feel anything. Today I have been clean for two and a half years and I don’t have that choice. I Choose NOT to put drugs in my body to numb the fear and pain. I am so scared that I am going to be older and still be a failure, I am afraid that I will never find my passion. I feel like there are so many directions that I could take and I am frozen with fear. What happens if I pick wrong,
what happens if I fail at that too, what happens if I cant do it or I quit. What will people think of me? What do they think of me now? God there are so many questions and doubts that I am paralyzed with fear.I just needed to write these thoughts down before I exploded.
