Love hurts

Russ,

So this letter is a long time in the making. I thought I could actually work through this but I can't. When do you finally say enough is enough, for me it was when I came back from Denver and the only thing you asked me about was about the chorus that you were specifically interested in you didn't ask anything else not how my trip was good I need anybody, but I have fun, was there a lot of emotional stuff, did you miss me. It was apparent that you couldn't be bothered to ask about any of my trip. Your lack of ability to show any interest for any aspect of my life has left me really wanting more. You know it's time to quit when a perfect stranger tells me more of how awesome of a person I am than you do. I've asked through the years for what I wanted and what I needed but it seems like it's falling on deaf ears. I just have to think that I am so worth getting my basic needs met and to tell you the truth I don't feel worth were at the end of any of it when I'm with you it takes my tricks telling me how handsome I am how special I am how great of a great of a person I am how I have a great smile and a package and body and I'm great in bed and I'm awesome kisser and to make me realize that I'm in the wrong relationship. Russ I am 44 years old and I refuse to be in this relationship one more moment like it is now I know now you are in capable of fulfilling even the basics in a relationship such as communication sacks giving compliments etc. I just don't get it I've stayed around thinking that it would get better or I would just grow into it but going to Denver made me realize I am to hold Lee selling myself short being with you I'm settling again and I'm too old to settle and I'm too young not to find that amazing man that will make me feel like I am at the center of their universe that I'm amazing and will make me feel like I'm the sexiest man alive even though I'm not. Who will genuinely tell me they love me and then show what I realize I have a big part in this and I apologize for not being all you want me to be so this is why am writing this to you now the more time that we waste with each other the more time with you take away from finding that person that will do it for us Russ I have prolong this decision because as soon as I give you this letter my life is to last it we got a change and I have not wanted to change but the longer I wait the more and happy Idk at Ross I I do love you, but I love myself more. It is not fair you or I keep going if this letter comes to you as a surprise I'm sorry. I think through the years I I've made it known that I needed change I've needed something different than what we have, we've talked and talked and talked and I tell you, I need more but I'm tired of having to ask for your approval and affection I don't want to have to ask you to ask me what is going on in my life. I really want to feel like a man that I that I love really is interested in my life and I don't feel any of that with you so I'm sorry to say I don't want to be in a relationship with you like this anymore in the back of my mind I truly hope that you read this in change but I honestly know, you will read this and you won't want to change at all so I am changing Russ I need you know that I'm not angry and and I don't mean this letter in in in anger or hatred or in dislike or in malice or any negative stuff I just want to be honest with you and I'm very sad and upset that I don't matter enough that you should really you want to listen and and know that I'm happy and want to change and take interest in my life. I do love you and I guess we really need to talk about what's next I haven't secured a place to live yet but I'm working on it. I wanted to talk to you about the truck me about maybe buying it or or maybe you could just give it to me if not it's really not your problem. I wanted to give this to you ASAP see you at had a chance to change the cruise thing. Which I understand we canceled now. I honestly don't know how you're going to react but I am really sorry I really wish it was working I never been with someone for so long ever. I want you know that I I really wanted to say thank you for sticking through the 13 months of my using with me and all of the things we did do I appreciate every one of those you are a great cook your great TV watcher I'm a buddy you're a great artist known I do know that you love me and I do know that you do care for me I just I just don't think you're able to give me the things I need and I think that you're comfortable where you're at right now. Russ I just want you to know that I do love you.